Todays post in English
You came into my life very early and I knew immediately that I loved you
At the same time I knew I couldn’t trust you
You were not one that I could count on…
You do what you want…
With no regards for others….
One moment you are here and I couldn’t be happier.
The days seems longer
Brighter and warmer.
The joy simply bobles in my chest
I can’t get enough of you….
so sometimes I get burned….
But suddenly you are gone and I am left behind
The days are grey and cold again
Things seems harder and the ake for you is sometimes unbearable….
You came by a some weeks ago, and we had a perfect couple of days….
We barbacued and spent most of the days outside….
We had such a wonderful time together…. and still you left….
I dont understand….
I have tried to follow you
acted like a stalker….
made my plans regarding to were you are supposed to be…
I just showed up and you seemed happy to see me…
at least you didn’t leave….
We had wonderful days together and again I have felt like the luckiest and happiest girl in the world..
But life called me back to reality and I had to go back…
No matter how much I begged and cried, you refused to go back home with me…
It has been so painful – such heartbreaking good byes for me…
But you dont seem to mind – you dont seem to care…
I have tried to undermine my self and been willing to share you with others – realizing that you will never be monogamous
But others get so much more of you and I feel the jealousy burn within….
What do they have that I dont? Why do you chose to spend so much time with them instead of me?
You know how much I love you!!
I have thought about forgetting you
realize that you will never stay with me constantly…
That I cant live with the bits and pieces that you offer…
And for periodes I have managed to do so
but suddenly you show up again and tear down every wall that I have buildt
You have an incredible power over me and apparently over others as well….
Sometimes I know that you are suppose to come
I have been told in advance and I am so excited
I plan and make arrangements….
and sometimes you dont show up even though it has been said you would
and the disappointment is almost unbearable….
Other times you show up as a lightning from clear sky
and the surprise is as big as the joy…
I worship you
I love you
I always miss you when you are not here
I can’t live without the little that I see of you…
so I will make do as long as you promise not to leave me entirely
but I do have a little request and I hope you will give me that…
I do think I deserve it;