A «homo» that doesn’t work!

Todays post in English

I read a post the other day, about how children are affected by our prejudices….

BECAUSE WE ALL DO HAVE THEM!!

Children come into this world not knowing right from wrong…

not knowing what’s normal or not..

It is the people around them that tells them this

either their parents

older siblings

grandparents

teachers

daycare personnel

neighbours

aunts

uncles

or complete strangers that state their meanings on the street, in media or at the store..

We are ALL responsible for what we say and we should ALL be aware of the huge impact we have on children’s mindset…

Here is an example of how different children thinks and perceives their surroundings compared to adults – this story is 13 years old:

My youngest daughter; Juni started school and was put in the same class as Simen who are adopted from Korea. Simen has a younger sister; Louise who is also adopted from the same country. I addition the parents has an biological daughter; Malene who is the oldest of the 3. We know the hole family because they live near by and Malene also is in the same class as my older daughter Sanne. One of the first day at school Juni comes home bursting with news!!:

«SIMEN IS ADOPTED!!!» she called out triumphantly…

I could almost read her thinking: «THAT is something you guys didn’t now!!!

I was a little perplex and answered; «but we all knew that already??»

«NO!!» She called out indignantly, «Nobody told me that!!»

«But cant you see that he looks different than you?» I replied carefully..

She just stared back at me looking like a question mark. I went on and explained that Simen and Louisa looked a little different than us because they had what we called an Asian look. And my daughter cut me off by shouting:

«IS LOUISE ALSO ADOPTED???»she stopped for a second or so and continued: «MALENE AS WELL???»

Again I tried to ask her if she couldn’t se the difference between Malene and the other siblings and of course she did!! Just like SHE didn’t look anything like her own brothers or sister!!

I was pretty surprized – because I was so sure that she already knew this – even though we might never have discussed it – at least I thought she would recognize the different looks…….at the same time it was so liberating to experience how little children care or notice differences – or the color of our skin…

But back to the heading…

I see my self as an unprejudiced person – but not all prejudices is negative or badly intended..It is just a mistake that we do when we assume, prejugde or generalize before getting to know… it can be ment as a positive comment as well:

All African American has an awesome rhythmic sense… ( not always true I think)

Or in a negative:

All muslimes are terrorist ( far from true as well!)

It has been important to me that my children  doesn’t grow up to be prejudiced persons and I have always talked to them about being open and including. That it is allowed to not like someone if they treat you badly, but that it is not OK to not like someone justbecause they are different…

The text in the picture; Marriage for everyone. Greatest of all is love.

When my oldest son came home at the age of 7 and asked me what a » fucking homo» was ( some older kids at school had called each other that, he said), I had to sit down and have a talk with him.

I explained that he could not use the word fuck, because it was a bad word and it didn’t belong together wit any other words.. And than I explained that a homo or a homosexual was to people of the same gender that fell in love. Either 2 men being boyfriends, living together/married or 2 woman.

My son who was at the age were all girls was the worst, said quickly;

«Than I am a homo, because I want to live with Anders ( his best friend at the time) when I grow up!»

«Yes, you can if you both want to when you grow up» I replied.

It didn’t turn out that way 🙂 It turned out to be a Caroline instead… 🙂

…..but I did get some bonus-children after a while and my step son turned out to be gay.. We had some funny episodes ( well they are funny retrospective – at that time it was serous enough) when he was younger. He would call my other son a homo when he was mad at him…. Of course he got in trouble for that. Non of my children were allowed to use homo as an insult word. He got a long speech were I told him that homosexuals and hetrosexuals were equals and that he should not use the word in an negative way…

When he as a 15 year old boy «came out » I was the first he told. When I asked him later why? He replied:

«You are the only one I know that has less prejudices against homosexuals than I do»

I was very moved and happy by his answer 🙂

But now I am approaching the core of this topic….because it turns out that I DO have prejudices as well..

I actually was supriced when I learned that he was gay…because I dint think he had any of the typical gay manner ( talk about generalizing..:(

……but my dear stepson didn’t seem to be the typical gay boy. He had no sense in fashion, his room looked like a flee marked ( he collected everything!! – at one time he had 7 typewriters…non of them worked…) and he wasn’t particularly interested in interior design or flowers for that matter….

YES I KNOW THIS IS VERY GENERALIZING – I AM TRYING TO RIDICULE MYE SELF..

And I have many homosexual friends that don’t fit this description as well.

But to be honest that is what I was thinking…

It was such a good lesson for me to see my self in a different light – and to realize that even if I try to be unprejudiced I do prejudge from time to time – not necessarily in a negative way – but still…

So I had to come off my high horse and admit that I do prejudge sometimes..

Luckily I do not take my self so serious that I can’t make jokes about myself – and it is quite al right that others do as well…..

 

My stepson know me so well  – so we always kid around….

I refer to him as cinderella and my self as the evil step mother….

And I use to say that with a homosexual son I would think he would be able to help me with decorating the house , fixing my hair or help me pick out outfits….. but NO:

Typical!!! We got our self a homo that doesn’t work 🙂

I HOPE I DONT OFFEND ANYBODY BY OUR INTERNAL JOKE – IT IS MORE ON ME THAN ON ANYBODY ELSE… – MY STEPSON DOESNT GET OFFENDEN BY IT AT ALL

I WISH YOUN ALL A WEDNESDAY FILLED WITH ANY KIND OF LOVE –

GREATEST OF ALL IS LOVE

❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

 

 

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