The English version of yesterdays post
I often tell my self that….
When I am in pain..
when life dosent go my way
like a strict teacher that tells me to pull my self together…
Or like a hysteric person needing a slap in the face to calm down
Needs to wake up
This is something I have told my kids many times as well
Its all in you head!
You just have to decide that:
«I can do this!»
«I will succeed»
«Of course I can!!»
«No mountain high enough!»
When my daughter was little and hurt her self while playing, she always would get so mad at me afterwards;
«You always say; it will be fine! – It is ok» But it isn`t!! It hurts!!»
And of course she was right, it did hurt! But she was fine as well!
What was I supposed to do?
Get hysterical because of some blood on my daughters knee?
I am sure that would upset her more….
And if they kept it going for a long while, I was not the most patient one.
I did not use the phrase «Suck it up» – but that is what I was thinking….
Instead I would say something as:
Come on, its over now. Put on a smile and some sneakers and run along…»
I am convinced that we should not spoil and pamper our children, the rest of the world wont follow up on that.. and that might come as a bit of a shock to them…..
Here are some other truths that we should prepare our children for;
LIFE IS NOT FAIR!!
Thats just how it is
Some will get more money for graduation than you!
You will think that some are prettier than you – some are smarter – some more popular.
And some win the big Lottery….
But you my sweet child are on the winning side!
Instead of looking at everyone that has more than you – turn to the world and see all of them that have so much less….
Life is unfair and YOU are the winner of the big lottery!!
NOT EVERYONE LOVES YOU NO MATTER HOW YOU BEHAVE!
Maybe your parents think you are just adorable even when you are at your most charmless behavior.
BUT sweetie, the rest of us doesn’t!!
Many parents do their children a great disservice by always letting them have their way and never give any consequences for bad behavior.
They «love» their children so much that they just can not bear to deny them anything, nor give them sensible boundaries…
BUT what does a love like that do FOR the child??
Well they often turn out to be charmless «monsters» that nobody likes….AND that is something the child pick up on…
EVERYTHING IS NOT GOING TO BE OK ….
«Everything is gonna be alright» sings av well known artist..
That is just not true!
We have to teach our children that not everything in life turns out the way we planned…
We have to prepare them for disappointments….
We are so engage in solving all our children`s problems, and that makes them incompetent in solving their own.
They are so use to running to mom or dad with every little issue….
«Thought helplessness» was a concept I heard about in nursing school. The danger of being to helpful while helping senior citizens or handicapped people with task they actually would manage themselves if we only gave them enough time…
We are in danger of doing the same to our children….
It isn`t love to rob our children of the capability to solve their own problems
LIFE ISNT ONLY ORGASMS, THERE HAS TO BE FUCKING AS WELL!
Many children gets everything so easy these days
They dont have to wait for Christmas or their birthday to get the toy they wish for….
Saturday candy has turned into Tuesday chocolate and Wednesday treat…
I remember the joy of saving up for something, maybe for a long time and then finally going to the store to buy it.
For my own money!!
Or wish for something for Christmas and not knowing if you would get it or not , the excitement and joy when opening the gift – or the disappointment when you were told it was to expensive this year….
Even better when you finally got it!
Or buying my first car, a wreck – BUT MY OWN!!!
Bought for my money…..THAT feeling is never achieved if you get everything you wish for all the time
When you dont work for it, the joy is short term…
Like an orgasm…..we dont want to miss out on what happens before do we??
PARENTS FAIL ALL THE TIME
Most of us do everything with the best intentions
often based on how out own upbringing was…
We either copy our parents – or we want to do everything different and better…
Either way – we are not perfect!
I always told my children;
YOU CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT – as long as you want it bad enough…
I wanted to give them faith in them selves
Support them whatever they did in life…
I now see that there can be a lot of pressure in that statement as well
What if you dont succeed with what you want?
Is that because you didnt want it bad enough??
Or what if you dont know what you want to do?
SOME MOUNTAINS ARE ACTUALLY TO HIGH TO CLIMB…
It is not easy being a parent
it is not easy bringing up children
But doing our very best – has to be a good thing right?
One thing is for sure, there is nothing I am more proud of than my 4 children.
And despite my flaws and mistakes as a mother – I know they love me to ❤